For the longest time, my actions became robotic and predictable as I battled my demons and struggles. I guess the term reset would be the most accurate way to describe what I would do as soon as I became aware that I slipped up.
I would not really change the way I think or act but, I would hope that my past discretions would somehow be absolved. I would wait, as most do, for the most opportune time to justify a reset. The biggest and most universal reset happens when the clock strikes midnight on New Yeas eve. For most, their apple cart not only gets tipped over but completely pillaged and used for fire wood as they abandon the wreckage. Others pick up the pieces and start over again. They, like me, would wait until the start of a new month or even a new week. I think this satisfies the smallest part of each of us that is Autistic or deals with OCD.
Starting on May 28th, 2009, also the first entry of my written journal, to my count I have documented over 10 Day Ones including my "Last Official Day One" on February 8, 2010. This, by the way, was followed by another handful of Day Ones.
September 27th, 2010 "Day One Forever" makes it's first appearance in my written journal:
"The number of Day Ones that I have put myself through is frustrating. I do not know how many times I have said to myself, "It all changes today" or "Monday is Day One, a fresh start". Every time I start a Day One, I feel that I am trying to recover from failure. On the other hand, my pest performances, in terms of adherence, happen on Day One. Will power and desire start off on a high note. Positivity and clarity trump the feeling of letting myself down. Everything seems to run smoothly. Therefore, I propose that every day shall be Day One."This epiphany occurred out of pure frustration of my then situation. I have to say that the greatest part of this moment of clarity that it hasn't faded even until this day. Any time that I feel that I am faced with adversary threatening my progress and attainment of goals, I simply act as though today is Day One. I get a boost of will power and confidence! I am able to say, "Yes, I will workout" or "No, I will not have desert".
Homework: It's not fancy nor is it deep but it works. Give it a try the next time you are caught in a particularly challenging moment and see how it works and let me know by commenting below. Remember that today is Day One and so is the next day... and the day after that! Enjoy each moment and stay present and I am sure you will see major improvements!